August 5, 2012 – Relationships & Our Needs


Sunday, August 5, 2012 ~ Relationships & Needs: An Inventory

Needs Exercise

Step 1: Pick a relationship you want to use for this exercise (spouse, partner, friend, mother/father). Using your needs list handout, fill in the needs that are important to you in terms of the relationship. Then, prioritize the top six by using a check mark. These are the needs/wants/desires you really want met in the relationship.

What I need, want, desire, value, prefer, or hope for in this relationships is…


✔ Consideration __ Peace ✔ Authenticity __ Play__________

(It is not necessary to fill them all in)
__ ____________ __ ____________ __ ____________ __ ____________
__ ____________ __ ____________ __ ____________ __ ____________
__ ____________ __ ____________ __ ____________ __ ____________

Step 2: Go back to the list and circle the needs that ARE NOT being meet in this relationship.

Step 3: Go back to the list and place a rectangle around the needs that ARE being meet in this relationship.

Conclude this exercise by doing the math: look over and see how many of your prioritized needs are and are not being met. What does this reveal to you?

Excerpted from:  The Fearless Heart

Is NVC Practical?

by Miki Kashtan

Resolving Inner Conflict

My experience of working with people in diverse situations over the years has shown me that more often than not our inner conflicts are equally if not more distressing to us than our outer conflicts. Inner conflicts take many forms. It can be a decision that we can’t make, a painful inner loop of self-criticism followed by impatience with ourselves for still criticizing ourselves, regret about something we did that we can’t seem to come to peace about, or a host of other equally familiar ones. Even our outer conflicts are often intertwined with our inner life, since our reaction to others is fundamentally more the expression of our own meaning-making than a direct result of anything the other person  does.   Read more »

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