Sunday, September 23, 2012 ~ Practice with Connected Conversations
Inspired by Newt Bailey & Ali Miller’s Presentation of The Compassion Switch: Finding and flipping on the compassion switch
“The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when one asked me what I thought and attended my answer.”
~ Henry David Thoreau
Despite having been fascinated with verse 69 of the Tao Te Ching, as to ‘yielding’ (see beneath — i.e. bringing softness to hardness, as water erodes rock) for decades, I find the notion of empathizing amidst a heated exchange to be quite challenging at times. Newt Bailey compared it to the turning of a massive oil tanker midstream, shifting direction — as with switching from aggressivity to empathy during conflict — as an oft excruciatingly gradual process. One tip offered was to becoming more aware of cues, such as ‘this conversation is no longer enjoyable’ as a prompt towards trying something else (insanity often defined as doing the same thing and expecting different results).
|Here Ali Miller and Newt Bailey portray a couple, Debbie and Jason, who have a mildly contentious conversation. They then try using the “Connected Conversation Process,” the foundational process of the Communication Dojo, to navigate through their conflict with greater mutual understanding and connection.|
Two monologues do not make a dialogue.
~ Jeff Daly
In the beginning aggressiveness seems to win,
But at the end, he who is compassionate wins.”
– Translated by Octavian Sarbatoare, 2002, Chapter 69
Kashtan, “A Naturalizing the NVC language comes from aligning ourselves with the truth and expressing from that place.”
Recording of Newt Bailey’s Presentation of “Connected Conversation Process”
Newt Bailey – The Compassion Switch: Finding and flipping on the compassion switch: