March 17, 2013 ~ NVC Principles & Social Change Agency

We’ll continue with last week’s theme exploring how the underlying premises of NVC influence our approach to others and the world-at large by way of Miki Kashtan’s current blog post, which includes a link to one of my favorite NVC pieces: Wanting Fully without Attachment (note Laura’s story referencing NVC principles as well).


Sunday, March 17, 2013 ~ NVC Principles and Social Change Agency

The Fearless Heart

Do I Want It or Should It Happen?

by Miki Kashtan

A few years ago I published an article in Tikkun magazine called Wanting Fully without Attachment. In that article (an excerpt from a book in progress called The Power of Inner Freedom), I describe the foundation of what I see as the spiritual path underlying the practice of Nonviolent Communication. It is a passionate and courageous path that calls on us to keep opening our hearts wider and wider and wider to all that deeply matters to us, while at the same time developing more and more capacity to accept the possibility of not having what we want.

In the absence of developing this capacity, we tend to go in one of two directions: either giving up on what we want as the only way we understand of what it means to let go of attachment, or removing ourselves personally from what we want by claiming it to be bigger than ourselves, outside ourselves, because it “should” happen.  Read more » 

FYI ~ Beginning this Tuesday, March 19th — A Free Telesummit:

A Path With Heart:
Nonviolent Communication & Social Change

Cartoon via:

NY TimesStarting a Papacy, Amid Echoes of a ‘Dirty War’

Grandmothers of the Plaza de Mayo join new Pope’s accusers (more here)

StingThey Dance Alone

Another Excerpt from Miki Kashtan blog post above:

If this is tricky and messy in the personal realm, how much more so when it comes to what we want for the world. The intensity of our pain and anguish about, for example, the plight of children in the world, is so acute that most of us find it impossible to simultaneously tolerate it and remain open to that pain and our longing for it to be different. How we each respond to this inner tear differs. For many of us, the path we choose is to numb out the pain, and most especially to convince ourselves that our actions and our comforts are independent of the experience of those children; that there is nothing we can do about it anyway; and therefore that it is best if we focus only on our own personal lives. For others of us, the anguish translates, instead, into an intense passion for change, which often shows up as anger and a focus on articulating what “should” happen. Anger and prescribing what others should do to some degree protects us from the vulnerability of feeling our own pain, and is therefore easier to tolerate internally.  Either way, we operate as if to keep our hearts open to the vision and the pain at the same time is not an option. For me, the path of wanting fully without attachment is precisely rooted in the capacity to hold, at the same time, the largest vision of what we want and the biggest acceptance of what is. No contradiction.  I have a growing conviction about how much nonviolence is rooted, in part, in the willingness to be exposed, to take the heat, to lose what’s dear to us, even our freedom, or our very lives (believe me, I am not there with that last one). The reason for this belief is that nonviolence requires an immense capacity for transcending fight, flight, or freeze reactions, so we can actually make a mindful choice how to respond in the moment. If so, finding a way to shift from “should” to “want” is absolutely essential, more aligned with the heart of nonviolence. It allows us to open our hearts, to remove the protection and the illusion of “should” thinking, to experience the humility of not knowing whether and how we can change something, and to be present for reality exactly the way it is…  Read more » 

See also via Democracy Now!March 2013

On Rosa Parks’ 100th Birthday, Recalling Her Rebellious Life Before and After the Montgomery Bus

EXCLUSIVE: Rarely Seen Film “King: A Filmed Record” Traces MLK’s Struggle from Montgomery to Memphis

This entry was posted in Activism, Practice Resources - Kashtan, Taking on the World - Social Change Agency and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

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