May 19, 2013 ~ Stop & Hear the Music[al OFNR]

Following up on last week’s “pearl” motif (atop the “Leather Earthers” post), we’ll draw inspiration from a thought-provoking and award winning news story: Pearls Before Breakfast – The Pulitzer Prizes  (perhaps borrowing from the Sermon on the Mount ‘pearls before swine‘ analogy?).

 

Can you stop and hear the music/OFNR, especially when preoccupied/“triggered”?

Sunday, May 19, 2013 ~ Stop & Hear the Music{al OFNR}

Post Magazine: Too Busy to Stop and Hear the Music

Will one of the nation’s greatest violinists be noticed in a D.C. Metro stop during rush hour? Joshua Bell experimented for Gene Weingarten’s story in The Washington Post: http://wpo.st/-vP (Video by John W. Poole)

Violinist Joshua BellPlaying Incognito at a D.C. Metro Station

And the sign said, “The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls”
~ Simon & Garfunkel

Stop and Hear the Music

During the 40 minutes Joshua Bell played, he noted only seven people stopped to listen.

The Sounds of Silence


Question: “What is the Definition for Empathy?”

Marshall Rosenberg: “Empathy, I would say is presence. Pure presence to what is alive in a person at this moment, bringing nothing in from the past. The more you know a person, the harder empathy is. The more you have studied psychology, the harder empathy really is. Because you can bring no thinking in from the past. If you surf, you’d be better at empathy because you will have built into your body what it is about. Being present and getting in with the energy that is coming through you in the present. It is not a mental understanding.”

Question: “Is it speaking from the heart?”

Rosenberg: “What? Empathy? In empathy, you don’t speak at all. You speak with the eyes. You speak with the body. If you say any words at all, it’s because you are not sure you are with the person. So you may say some words. But the words are not empathy. Empathy is when the other person feels the connection to with what’s alive in you.”

Empathy3 Layers – Radical Compassion [PDF]

More notes on the Three Layers of Empathy (courtesy of Jim and Jori Manske)

THREE LAYERS OF EMPATHY

Empathy is being with another with compassion, connecting to the
humanness of their experience. Empathy is the silent presence
with another, not the words we use. We can express our empathy
and some possible ways to express empathy are included here.

ACKNOWLEDGING another’s experience
Reflecting: Observation, Feeling, Request, and/or Wish
NOT: blame, criticism, or evaluation
“(Something) happened. ”
“You are upset.”
“You wish (something different) had happened.”
“You would like (something).”

Connecting to the CAUSE of the feeling (the need)
Connecting to the universal need/value that the feeling is
reflecting, making no reference to any specific person (including
myself) doing any specific action. Notice there is no reference to
“I” or “me” at the causal level.
“Are you feeling _____ because (need) is important to you?”
“Are you valuing (need)?‘
“So for you, (need) is important.”
Some examples of “need” words: security, cooperation, fun, creativity, love,
respect, freedom, healing, understanding, belonging, awareness, etc.

SAVORING the need
Being with the value of the need.
Connecting to the internal resource and universality of the need.
“Ah, (need)”
Space / Silence

Based on the work of Marshall B. Rosenberg, author of Nonviolent Communication
© 2009 peaceworks, Jim and Jori Manske
Certified Trainers with The Center for Nonviolent Communicationtm
505.344.1305
radicalcompassion@gmail.com
http://radicalcompassion.com

From Marshall Rosenberg’s book “Non-Violent Communication”

“Empathy is a respectful understanding of what others are experiencing.  Instead of offering empathy, we often have a strong urge to give advice or reassurance and to explain our own position or feeling.  Empathy, however, calls upon us to empty our mind and listen to others with our whole being.

In nonviolent communication, no matter what words others may use to express themselves, we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests.  Then we may wish to reflect back, paraphrasing what we have understood.  We stay with empathy, allowing others the opportunity to fully express themselves before we turn our attention to solutions or requests for relief.

We need empathy to give empathy.  When we sense ourselves being defensive or unable to empathize, we need to (A) stop, breathe, give ourselves empathy, (B) screamed nonviolently, or (C) take time out.” ~ Marshall Rosenberg

Some more about empathy – from Marshall Rosenberg

Joshua Bell: A Concert Violinist on the Metro – NPR

Virtuoso concert violinist Joshua Bell plays more than 200 international bookings a year. But in January, he found himself performing during rush hour for morning commuters at a metro station in Washington, D.C.

Bell, who on Tuesday won the Avery Fisher Prize for outstanding achievement in classical music, talks to Michele Norris about the stunt, an experiment concocted by The Washington Postcolumnist Gene Weingarten.

During the 40 minutes he played, Bell says only seven people stopped to listen — and only one person recognized him. He earned $59 — if you include the $20 the woman who recognized him left.

Technorati Buzz TV – Joshua Bell, Violin Virtuoso, DC Subway

For the sake of contrast:  Bruce Springsteen Live on street in Copenhagen

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