Dialogue-Lab (Part V

(ZENVC‘s iGiraffe offered with permission of Catherine Cadden & Jesse Wiens)

“Freedom is the capacity to pause
between stimulus and response.” ~ Rollo May

ZENVC’s Communication Flow Chart (PDF format)

Alternate  ZENVC  Remote Control

What is ZENVC?



Additional Resources:


“iGiraffe” – Player’s Control Panel Buttons:

Beneath are some posts from this blog that may help flesh out how each button could work:

Debriefing a Role Play w/
Flowers, Tears & Lightbulbs (Journal)

As Dominic Barter has suggested, rather than viewing NVC as something taught, instead we’ll approach it as “a collective research project” (where we are testing the hypotheses/workability of NVC principles/consciousness).

Preparation for Authentic Dialogue

Awareness of street signs (red/yellow/green light), cultivating street smarts!


As Susan Gillis Chapman has said, “when the light is red, stop, recognize when the communication is disconnected, and as painful as it is, learn how to hold steady and abide with that disconnection.

Improvisational Empathy w/ Enemy Imagery

Diagram beneath via Miki Kashtan‘s Intention and Effect – The Fearless Heart


 Practice: Transforming Judgments and Enemy Images – BayNVC

“There is no such thing as a difficult piece. A piece is either impossible or it is easy. The process whereby it migrates from one category to the other is known as practicing.”
Louis Kentner, Pianist

Excerpted from an article by Miki Kashtan, Ph.D.

…One of the common responses I hear from people who study NVC, especially early on in their journey, is fear of losing spontaneity. They want to have ease and flow, to speak in ways that feel natural to them. Or they say that it’s just too hard, or even impossible for them… (continues)

Responding to Anger – YouTube

See also  “Connected Conversation Process” – instructional video

FYI: Improvisational OFNR & Stop & Hear the Music[al OFNR]


John Kinyon: NVC-Mediation – NVC-Principles

John Kinyon’s Feelings & Needs sheet & Breath, Body, Need

See more videos here:  Interview(s): NVC Mediation

When we are no longer able to change a situation – we are challenged to change ourselves.
~ Viktor E. Frankl

We utilize the “iGiraffe” to develop our [interactiveMindsight capacity — just as we might use a steering wheel or gas pedal to regulate our car — see the seven & 1/2 minute mark of Daniel Siegel’s clip (beneath):

Daniel Siegel: What Is Mindsight?


See also:  Reptilian Brain & Mindsight

Practicing ‘Scary Honesty’ with the iGiraffe (in the context of our Dialogue Lab):

  • Do you remember times when you were on the verge of being open about something difficult to share but then couldn’t follow through, as it seemed too challenging to manage (at least skillfully)?
  • Do you remember other occasions when you did speak out about something that seemed significant, at the time, only to regret it later?
  • Do you really want to bring your full authenticity to bear, yet in a way that others can take in (that is mutually enlivening rather than alienating)?
…I would like to beg you dear Sir, as well as I can, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.
Rainer Maria Rilke, 1903
in Letters to a Young Poet


Jesse&CatherineCatherine Catherine (w/ Jesse Wiens), author of Peaceable Revolution Through Education, on “Scary Honesty” — Who is ZENVC?

TEDxTriangleNC – Catherine Cadden – Direct Action in Love

Communication Flow Chart (PDF format) – ZENVC

See also: ZENVC – Services

Learning Materials – ZENVC

 Journaling (Building Muscle Memory)

(Journaling is an ideal way of prepping a potential scenario that you might consider sharing on the Dialogue-Lab portion of our call.)

Front Cover
“Human freedom involves our capacity to pause between the stimulus and response and, in that pause, to choose the one response toward which we wish to throw our weight. The capacity to create ourselves, based upon this freedom, is inseparable from consciousness or self-awareness.” (p. 100) ― Rollo May, The Courage to Create

Practicing Peace in Times of War

from Practicing Peace in Times of War by Pema Chodron

Then the path of peace depends on being patient with the fact that all of us make mistakes.  And that’s more important than getting it right.  This whole process seems to work only if you’re willing to give yourself a break, to soften up, as you practice patience.  As with the rest of the teachings, you can’t win and you can’t lose.  You don’t get to just say, “Well since I never can do it, I’m not going to try.”  It’s like you never can do it and still you try.  And, interestingly enough, that adds up to something, it adds up to appreciation for yourself and for others.  It adds up to there being more warmth in the world.  You look out through your eyes and you just see yourself wherever you go–you see all these people who are escalating their suffering just like you do.  You also notice people catching themselves just like you do, and they give you the gift of their fearlessness.  You begin to be grateful for even the slightest gesture of bravery on the part of others because you know it’s not so easy.  Their courage increases your trust in the basic goodness of yourself and all beings throughout the world–each of us just wanting to be happy, each of us not wanting to suffer.

For a demo of the iGiraffe,
please see Jesse & Catherine’s “Dialogue Lab” & “Reality TV”:

All NVC Multimedia Library Resources with Catherine Cadden

All NVC Multimedia Library Resources with Jesse Wiens


                  See also: NVC Dialogue LabZENVC

For additional information/Services, please visit ZENVC.org

The Yoga of Self-Connection (PDF format)


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